Friday, January 16, 2009

32 Weeks, 6 Days

Hi everyone! I'm sorry it's been so long since I last updated. Things have really been crazy for the past couple of weeks.

Cim, I'm so sorry that I missed you when you were trying to visit me in the hospital. I had the nursing station screen my calls that day since I was getting a little too much visiting from relatives, and at the very end of her shift, my nurse came in to tell me that you had been the one trying to get through. I felt awful and didn't have a way to get back to you. So, I'm sorry for the confusion, and I really appreciate you trying to come see me!

That last week in the hospital was a really rough one for me. I was so worried about going back home to a house we basically couldn't afford. I won't get into our housing situation, but let's just say it wasn't great. So that last day in the hospital, we started calling around and looking up places online like madmen, and found an affordable apartment in Slaton, where Travis works. We visited the apartment that afternoon, the afternoon I got out of the hospital, and about three days later we moved in. It happened really quickly, but we've been in a financial tight spot for a couple of months now, and have been praying for God to open a window for us to live and breathe a little easier. I think it came as a shock to extended family that we were moving so quickly, but when you've been begging God to show you a way out of your situation, you don't sit around and think about it when His answer finally comes. You just take the opportunity and thank Him for it. And so that's what we did. We couldn't afford to wait around for another month's rent to roll by.

We don't have cable or internet set up in our new apartment yet, but it'll be here either Monday or Tuesday of this coming week, so I'll be writing more regularly again. Right now I'm updating you from Travis's office at the school. I know a bunch of people have just about decided I'm not keeping up with this anymore, but I really do plan to stay committed to keeping everyone informed as best as I can! Please just bear with us while we get adjusted to our new home and get all the wires plugged in where they belong.

I saw Dr. Devine this morning, and asked her a question that has been bugging me all week. If Josiah is looking so great, which he is, then why am I still required to come in twice a week for NSTs and ultrasounds? On days where I have to get out of bed and go to Lubbock for doctor appointments, I usually end up sick and sore by the end of the day. My body just isn't used to moving or driving or sitting up for long periods of time. It's really hard on me physically, and if it isn't necessary anymore (which would be a great thing for him too), then I certainly don't want to go anymore!

She said that since he had all of those days of heart decelerations, they're going to continue to monitor him closely until delivery. Boo.

But I was right about the part where I said he's looking perfect. She said that he's looking wonderful. Still measuring about two weeks small for his gestational age, but he's got a strong little heart, great blood flow, and all fluid levels are perfect.

Haha, I almost forgot: Last Friday I went to Dr. Devine to see about this new pain on my lower right side. It was really hurting, and I figured I shouldn't ignore it since it was getting more severe. She checked me out and said that I have a hernia. Lol of course. Why not? So that's been hurting for about two weeks. She's certain that once he's delivered, everything will go back to normal, just like the problems with my stomach and digestive tract. Le sigh.

Today we talked about what kind of delivery would be best. She asked me, "Are you hoping for a vaginal delivery?" I told her that I'd kind of made up my mind that a c-section would probably be better for him since he's so tiny, and he's done weird heart things in the past. I just don't want to risk the stress of labor with him. She agreed, and I quickly said, "But I'm not the doctor, those are just my feelings. If you think that a c-section isn't wise or safe, then please say so." But I think the whole reason she brought up the issue was to kind of suggest that if I was hoping for a natural delivery, I needed to be prepared that a c-section would probably be better in this case. I was talking to my dad about it, and as he said, if she'd thought a c-section was unnecessary, she would've said so and would not have agreed with my thoughts on the matter. But it's not like I'm one of those women who just hates the thought of a natural delivery, so I'm requesting a c-section. Surgery scares me to death, but Dr. Atkinson has talked enough times about the dangers of trying to naturally deliver an SGA baby that I'm certain I don't want to try for that.

If they could schedule a c-section, that would be wonderful. I bet as we get closer and closer to that 37 week mark, discussions will begin about having a scheduled delivery. 33 weeks tomorrow!! Woo hoo!! I can't believe I went into the hospital at 28 weeks and was given steroid shots in case they had to deliver that very week! That seems so long ago!

I have good days and bad days. I know he's doing beautifully, except for the being tiny part, but some days I myself am not doing so well. Bed rest is hard work, and I'm on even more limited bed rest now that I have this hernia. Some days I wake up hurting so badly I just cry all day and I have even tried bargaining with Dr. Devine about delivering earlier. I know that it doesn't really work to try and strike up deals with your obstetrician to deliver your baby early, but when you're in that much constant pain and discomfort, I figure I've got to try!

My poor tiny body was just not made for birthin' babies. This I have learned.

If her promises and approximations are right, I ought to have just four more weeks of this nonsense, and then we all meet Josiah. Lol, I was reading a magazine in the doctor's office this morning that talked about the "common apprehensions of how life will change after baby's arrival." I showed the article to my mom and said, "I don't even have time to think of my apprehensions regarding how life will be once he's here... But it couldn't possibly be worse than how my life has changed in trying to get him here!"

Trying to stay positive. One day at a time.

God bless,
Kathleen and Travis

2 comments:

Jessica Crawford said...

I'm so glad to hear things are working out! I was so worried about you since you hadn't updated so I'm happy to see that you are still truckin' along :) Only 4 more weeks until you reach the cruicial 37th week...that is so exciting! Oh I found some old pictures from our WC trip to Wyoming. Brought back some good memories :) Take care dear and I look forward to the next update!

CimA said...

I am sorry we missed you, but I'm glad you got some rest. Your nurse said you hadn't been sleeping well and that it had been a hard night, so don't worry about it. I do, however, have a baby present for you. I don't know if you're actually going to get to have the traditional first baby shower, but let me know if you do. Actually, why don't you just give me a call sometime(806-283-2716). Aaron works in Slaton every once in a while, we could come with him and drop off your baby present and alleviate the lonliness of bed rest for a while. 4 weeks sounds so short comparatively, but then again, it sounds like forever when you're on bed rest. I hope it goes by quickly for you.