34 Weeks, 6 Days

I HAVE A SCHEDULED C-SECTION!!!!!!

Yesterday I had an appointment with Dr.Devine, and I was telling Travis the night before, "My only objective for this appointment tomorrow is to find out when they're wanting to deliver, because I can't handle not knowing anymore!" I realize that women who have legitimate due dates (which mine is NOT) get antsy too at some point, but imagine being told your due date is December 10th, but "we're definitely not comfortable letting you carry him for that long, so we'll have to play it by ear. Just be prepared that it's going to be weeks before then..."

I wake up everyday not knowing when this will all end. I finally have a date!! And I bet you're all dying to know when it is! haha

My 37th week is Valentine's day, (which I know you all know, because I've obsessed over that silly holiday for the past few weeks!) and she actually considered a c-section on that day! I never thought she'd just get me to the 37 point and then take him, but apparently she really doesn't want him to be carried past that point. However, a birthday on valentine's day every year would suck, so she tried for Monday the 16th. She called the hospital, and they were booked. Yuck!

So my c-section is scheduled for Tuesday February 17th at Noon! That's my Independence Day!!! I can't wait! I told her I thought she was going to make me go until the 38th week, and she said she was concerned with how he's been doing. When I looked it up online, I thought he had dropped to the 8th percentile, but in reality (which I found out yesterday), he's dropped from the 10th to the 4th. They were no longer considering him IUGR, but after seeing that, he's back in the IUGR category again, and they're back to watching him closely again.

I realize that it isn't good that he's dropping down again, and his weight is starting to drop off, but on the other hand, his organs are looking so perfect, and he's been such a fighter, I'm almost relieved his weight is starting to make them pay closer attention because it's earned us a due date! Is that selfish of me to feel that way?? Dr. Devine was talking a couple of weeks ago like I may be able to go all the way to week 38 or 39, which was really exhausting and discouraging. It was just a real relief for her to say yesterday, "I don't really even want you to go all the way to week 38. I think that would be an unnecessary risk at this point, and I definitely don't want you going past that week. I think as early as humanly possible at week 37 is the best bet. Any earlier than that, and we'd have to do an amnio to check his lung development, and I can do that if you want, but I know you've expressed several times that you definitely don't want to risk an amnio." I was shocked that she was willing to try for even earlier than week 37 if I was up for it.

But she's right, the risk of the amnio is just too great. And if he's going to be super small, I'd rather him be super small but officially full term (as he will be on the 14th) than super small and even a week early.

I'm just so freaking excited! I've been battling bitterness and depression for the past few months from being so sick and lonely and frustrated, but this makes it easier to deal with. I woke up incredibly sick this morning- much like every morning- but I had a light at the end of this horrible tunnel! That gave me hope and joy.

So now we can start counting down the days! 18 days from here!
God bless,
Kathleen and Travis